We are having some major issues with Ethan biting and hitting. I need help. I don't know what to do. So far he has only done it to us, but it has got to stop. My mom and I thought it may have been him acting out because he was frustrated with the pain he was experiencing when he was sick. But now that he is better he is still acting out. Ethan has always been pretty obedient for his age. We have been so proud of him and he still is a wonderful child with a sweet personality. BUT, he hits when he is frustrated and has started biting. Not biting out of anger necessarily, just biting. He bites us and he bites our couches. Any ideas? Any advice? I feel badly about "popping" him when he hits, because what does that say about hitting?! We will reprimand him for hitting or biting and right after he will do it again. The main thing we are trying is to just be consistent and loving. I have to keep myself in check that i'm not reprimanding him in frustration and I am also trying not to raise my voice. The last thing I want to do is become a yelling parent. So anyhow, I am hoping this is just a stage and that he passes right through, but for now it is difficult.
p.s. I don't think biting is from teething because he has most of his teeth already. We are now accepting comments :) please help!
3 comments:
I know it's frustrating, but it's a phase he's going thru, he's just got to understand it's not acceptable. Grabbing his arms & holding them until he understands he can't hit may help. I'm not sure at what point they understand time out... I know they understand a lot more than we think they do at that age... just hang in there, he will get over it. He's such a special little guy! I'm so thankful to be his grammy :)
Like you said, the best thing is consistency. We can chat over the phone or in person sometime and I can share what we have tried with Ryan. . .what has worked and what has not. With the hitting, since he is so young, I would definitely try to teach him how to do gentle touches. As soon as Ryan would hit Matt or me, we would say, "No hit Ryry, that hurts Mommy and Daddy. Do it like this. . .". We would then take his hand and arm and show him what a gentle touch looked like. Be encouraged that he does have a sweet spirit when you get discouraged. I try to dwell on that with Ryan when I get frustrated. I'm grateful that he is having bad behavior and that his character is not bad (i.e, mean, spiteful, dark. . .). Persevere Cheri and hit it hard. Though it is SO hard to discipline each time a bad behavior is exhibited, it pays off in the long run, as Ethan will more quickly learn. You also may want to try time outs. If he will not sit on a step or in a place, get out the pack n play and place him in it immediately after you tell him the behavior is not acceptable, as a time out (1 minute to 1.5 minutes for his age) Goodness, I could go on and on, as we have tried so many things with Ry. We'll have to talk on Sunday. Boys definitely struggle with impulse control! Also check out Shepherding a Child's Heart by Ted Tripp and Boundaries with Children.
Hey Cheri, Olivia has started hitting too and I spoke with our pastor's wife about it because I wondered about the stopping hitting with hitting. The root issue of the hitting if you have told him NO, is that he is disobeying and disobedience has to be dealt with (not necessarily the hitting itself-- it is a bad behavior, not the root issue).
She suggested when Olivia hit the next time to firmly remove her hand, make contact and establish "No hitting." Now the next time she does it, she is disobeying because we've established the "no hitting" as an expectation. So she would need to be disciplined. If you want to talk more about this, call or email and I'll let you know how it's going. :o) Miss you!
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